I just thought this topic is one I have never seen anyone bring up here and it might make for a good discussion. Not letting the stories of other people get in the way of stepping into the real you is an essential lesson and challenge in life – but if you master it, you’ll be more confident, happy and fulfilled. Give yourself the love and acceptance that you want from others and your neediness will subside. There are over seven billion people in the world. I’ve had to let go of those that were causing me stress. I think Lao Tzu’s quote has a great point. You’ve got to have more and more and more fixes and, like other junkies, you can go crazy when your drug of choice is withheld. When we feel an upset stomach, it’s very often related to that sense of self or to feelings of confidence …

I’m 30 right now and I’m just starting to live without considering *too much* what others think of me or what I look like. 1. This is why I loved #2 on your list. Serve others. Respecting myself enough to spend time with those that share the love is what works for me. Seek out like-minded family and friends. The good news is that none of us has to suffer with insecurity; there is a cure for the approval addiction. Live a life of awesomeness. We feel good when someone shows us love and approval, but that can go to far. Don’t allow others to decide your worthiness. We need to remember that opinions are just opinions! I’ve embraced “imperfect action”. And best of all I pretty okay with it. You cause your own pain and suffering when you fail to love and approve of yourself. You cause your own pain and suffering when you fail to love and approve of yourself. Please help me inspire others by sharing this post on Facebook and Twitter. Once I studied therapy I was able to recognize these ‘drivers’ and use them to my advantage, rather than let them have control of me. Seek out like-minded family and friends. Understand and heal the parts of you that you’d rather hide. Never. Congratulation on all things bold! I am sure there are others out there that have this same issue.

It involves people living in bondage to what other people think about us. Previous Post: 10 Steps to Summon Mighty Forces and Live a Bold Life. Give yourself the love and acceptance that you want from others and your neediness will subside. I still get caught up when asked to do something but my pat answer when I cannot or do not want to do something is to say, " I thank you for thinking of me but I will have to say no to this request". You set the tone for your life. As kids we develop what in Transactional Analysis terms is called ‘driver behaviour’. I will use these both this afternoon while I have to spend some time with someone who does not like me very much. I’ve since picked up the shattered pieces of my heart and soul and accepted that some people will never love and accept me. We have got to stop trying to validate ourselves through others’ approval. I don’t want to sound technical, but there is no other way I can describe what I know to be true. Stop feeling pressured to go along with something you don’t believe in. Thanks for these reminders!! Take risks, commit and allow yourself to fail. Yes number 7 is very important!!!!!!!! Accept your shadow side, imperfections and flaws.

I grew up believing that I should always go that extra mile, it is better to sacrifice what you really want to help others, always turn the other cheek, be the first to volunteer as all of these things would make people love me and I needed to know I was loved. Love this, love #10 the most at this moment. Don’t allow anyone to bring you down. This particular addiction is what might be called approval addiction. The Word of God says As I’m getting older I find that I need to let the wrong ones walk away, and let the right ones in or back into my life!!!!!! Phew! 9. Be your own best friend. Add on your dislike of disappointing others and life can easily get out of hand. Walk away from the people who don’t want the best for you.

If you do something that someone else doesn't approve of, you feel guilt or stress.

I was so afraid I would offend somebody if I would offer less....lol. You are overly responsible and take on the responsibilities of others. The physical abuse stopped after a while, but the verbal abuse and witnessing the behavior of a self serving, self-absorbed, habitual liar of a father left some damage. Andrew Carnegie. The most splendid achievement of all is the constant striving to surpass yourself and to be worthy of your own approval. Learn to make the choices that are right for you.

That’s freedom! It’s not my default position – self blame, overly high standards are my specialties So learning to be compassionate with myself, being vigilant with my thoughts and going deep to really notice if my actions are in my best interest or not. But every day, I take one essential step toward a valuing myself enough to believe in me and to know that this is all I need. David. TIA. You deserve to be seen and heard. Walk away from the people who don’t want the best for you.

Stop hiding who you really are. 11. How has the need for approval impacted your life? So I would add to your list ‘Understand What Makes You Tick!’, Great list.

11 Great tips.

It is an honor for people to care about me, but it is also an honor that I care about them. Your advice is so liberating! ~ Denis Waitley. Similarly, I had to learn and understand that I would not be able to please family members all my life. Let your beauty shine. I can say I have got much better at saving myself some money now a days. It’s so much easier than getting hit over the head;)) I can’t wait to see what life has in store for you. We had a very disfunctional, verbally and physically abusive household. An opinion is only a story. As you say not everyone is going to like you,we have to learn to walk away, because there is enough people on this planet that you find do like and love you just the way your are.

We all need a bit of approval, but seeking it from the wrong people is a sure recipe for getting hurt. Lean into who you are. Gently notice how you are around others and what you say and do to disconnect from your authentic self. Hold on tight to your own tastes, values, ideas and dreams. You have a Divine legacy. After getting the nerve up and doing it a few times, it got much easier! 2. Treat yourself with respect. Thanks for a lovely article! In am so glad I came across your blog and this article. This is an area that I am not very familiar with, I guess my personality just doesn't allow it. Betsy. Let them go out my life should be a good choice, I mean that don’t let them affect my emotion feeling. Cathy Taughinbaugh I’m perfectly fine with it. be good to yourself

Live life your way! xoxo I have most of the above and I do work with my therapist. by Tess on March 25, 2013. When you become an addict to approval, no matter how much of this drug of choice you get, you can never have enough. I don’t need your approval to be OK and you don’t need mine. 5. What someone thinks or says about you is only their perception. Great input everyone and I would love to hear more from others if they would like to share. I let go of trying to fit in. Some classic signs and symptoms of an approval addiction include: Rehearsing what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it before going into situations Mentally go over the things you said and did after a meeting, finding all kinds of ways you could have done it or said it differently? It’s still hard to be around it sometimes which is why the last point is so great. Celebrate who you are. I don’t need your love and devotion to be happy and you don’t need mine. Don’t go along with the crowd. 10 Steps to Summon Mighty Forces and Live a Bold Life, 7 Things You Need To Know For A Fearless Future, Beat Anxiety And Depression By Changing Your Brain, 20 Quotes To End All Suffering By Byron Katie. The main characters of this christian, self help story are , . I alone am whole and have everything I need to take on the world. Our emotions are always signals of our unmet needs or of needs that feel threatened. You don’t need anyone’s permission.

It’s a struggle to not care what people think, isn’t it. March 26, 2013, 2:06 pm. . 6. Finally I am at the stage where I have learned to take care of me but it is still hard to stop the feelings that I may have hurt someone or let them down by saying no to a request.